“I studied Inanna with Ariana and while it strengthened my grasp of lyric poetry and regularly brought me to tears, it did not make me rich or make men fall at my feet. I just completed Opaque College’s antidote course and was inspired to create an AI version of myself who is more algorithmically attuned than I am and isn’t distracted by sleep, hunger, or ovulation. With the help of OC and my new clone, I have hope again that my dreams will come true in 2026.”

-Olivia Powerbottom

The Antidote to “Innana”

This Fall

“Like Job, I hold dearly my blamelessness. Ariana tried to take it away from me. For a moment she succeeded. I lost my sense of impermeability to the corruption of the world. I saw I had been infected by corruption and in attempt to avoid further suffering I was doing the virus’ bidding. I felt as if Ariana and I were in a power struggle. I’m not sure she was aware of this, as I kept my camera off through the duration of the course. Opaque College set me straight again. They helped me develop a practice of dopamine maxxing to flood my system with enough chemicals that I am numb to the suffering of the human condition. This numbing is an age-old tradition that our contemporary culture provides increasing tools for and for this I am grateful.”

-Jimmy Scardicat

The Antidote to “Job Study”

Spring 2026

“Thank you, Opaque College. Since I took this antidote course, I am once again comfortable in belonging to my nation state, and eager to move to California.”

-Krystal Munnibags

The Antidote to “Gnostic Summer”

Summer 2026

“I really, really hate bugs. I was initially hesitant to dive into IC’s The Favorites because of the bug mention, but I love breakups and ancestor worship as much as the next guy. While some of the content shone new light on untouched parts of myself, the bugs ruined everything. I am deeply grateful to Opaque College for producing a bug-free version.”

-Josie Pesticide

The Antidote to “The Favorites”

Fall 2026

“After consuming all the content in Invisible College’s VISION :: OBSCURITY :: INFINITY collection, I felt lonely. Briefly I had hope for infinite possibilities for this world but it was fleeting. As someone without a rich interiority (not all of us have one, you know), I believed the experience of infinity is not accessible to me in this lifetime. Opaque College showed me that this belief could be toppled if I stopped accepting this lifetime on its own terms. I went in on a cryogenic freezer down payment with a few buddies I met through Opaque College and am dedicating all my waking hours to the advancement of lifespan lengthening technologies. I am currently preparing to enter my first experimental trial.”

-Anonymous

The Antidote to “VISION :: OBSCURITY :: INFINITY”

Winter 2027

“Since taking Opaque College’s antidote course, the world has returned to how it was before I ever heard of Ariana Reines and Invisible College. Much more muted and tolerable. Now I only think of poetry on nights I can’t get to sleep.”

-Lionel Buttonup

The Antidote to “HA HA YR SOUL”

Spring 2027

“Finally, an intellectual space that isn’t afraid to challenge the dogma of contemporary conversational politics. If Ariana released monologues, I would consider giving them a listen, but until then I’m camped out over here at Opaque College.”

-Kathy Chatty

The Antidote to “The Dialogues”

Summer 2027

“When I first became acquainted with Invisible College, I knew very little of Rilke. Quickly, I discovered that Ariana and the other poet worshippers in her Rilking course viewed Rilke’s elegies as an opportunity to turn toward pain. No thank you, ma’am!!! Thanks to Opaque College, I have now gotten my loving out of the way and managed to forget most of Rilke’s sentimentality.”

- Susan Lazy

The Antidote to “Rilking”

Fall 2027

“Woof woof woof woof woof! That’s what Ariana Reines wants us to say. Well, I have self-control now, thanks to Opaque College.”

-Bark Ruffalo

The Antidote to “Dog Days”

Winter 2028

“I never knew that the Libra figure carries a scale. All the Libras I know are at least a little skewed in their thinking, so I don’t think they should be the authority on matters of justice and balance. Anyway, because of IC’s Justice My Sister course, I spent my Libra season questioning our cultural narratives of fairness and grew increasingly attached to the cosmos as overseer of justice. Opaque College brought me back to earth, particularly with its close reading of Harris’ 107 days, which highlights that the 2024 election was not fair. Nevertheless, Opaque College understands that it’s best to talk about these matters at a very high level, as personalizing them and considering the role of justice in our own lives is a portal to discontent.”

-Kremlynne Kardashian

The Antidote to “Justice My Sister”

Spring 2028

“I was forced to abandon poetry because of its Satanic leanings. I had to leave Invisible College for the same reason. I am indebted to the reverse engineers at OC for offering me a vision of a Satan free world. I will admit that I sometimes miss the erotic charge of my past life, but I have finally found my calling: running for school board to save the Children from hot Satanic texts.”